July 13, 2008
During a recent NPR interview, a teacher explained how she could not publicly admit when her students were doing well, for fear the resources she needed would be taken away. Her comments got me thinking about how afraid we all are to say when we’re okay, that we have what we need, or—even more extreme—admit
we’re actually happy, for fear we will lose it.
There are lots of seemingly logical reasons for this:
-Like the teacher, admitting your needs are fulfilled may lead to resources being reappropriated for those “more in need,” be they coworkers, other states, nations or even family members.
-Admitting wellness or success can come off as bragging, or rubbing salt in the wound of others losses. We
wouldn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, right?
-Crisis begets concern and care from others. When you, your company, your pet or your planet is in trouble, you receive more outreach from others, sometimes in forms of tangibles, like goods or services, other times just in emails or more “How can I help?” phone calls. We all want to feel a little extra love and care.
-Announcing success/happiness/wholeness/wellness tempts fate, and risks bringing an end to whatever is so good. We throw salt over our shoulders and knock on wood for fear that things might change.
What each of these reasons has in common is fear of loss and possibility of future pain (physical or emotional). We are so afraid of losing what we have–health, money, a job, good communication, a great day
–that we ignore and overlook all that is well in our worlds, living in a constant state of worry.
Yes, we could easily get mired down in the stock market woes, fires, heat waves, and Iraq, or we could notice the new bud on the tomato plant, appreciate the ability to get up and speak to people we love every day, and answer the
question “How are you?” with “I am good, I am great, I am well!” If we do not grasp so tightly to the feeling of happiness, we can instead appreciate it and set it free. No end. No beginning. Just free flowing and always available.
I invite you to claim your wellness/success/happiness and not live in fear. Fear is just that, a False
Experience Appearing Real.
(Need help? Try the 10 Simple Surefire Ways to Have the Best Day Ever)
June 28, 2008
My hubby is a fireman, so talk of fire is a regular occurrence in my house. But recently the discussion has reached an all time high as our fair county has been faced with three serious fires in just as many weeks. As one local reporter put it, any of these fires alone would have been eligible for “Story of the Year” were this even the end of it.
Fire season has only just begun and fires continue to rage, as illustrated by this map dated June 27, 2008. Walking outside my house it reeks of campfire, normally a smell I love, but now a scent that represents destruction. Fortunately, the fires have not yet been at my own back door, but close enough that hubby and I have assessed the most valuable items to grab in an evacuation (dogs, cat, computers, backup drive and wedding photos), tightened down our fireboxes with important documents, and stocked our “get-away” vehicle—our truck—with food and water for us, our animals, bedding, dishes and the basics to get us by for a few days self-contained. We’ve even made plans about where we’ll meet should we be separated at the time of evacuation.
This week, when reports of possible thunder and lightning—weather that caused 300 spot fires last weekend—hit the news, I started my home inventory. The list catalogs everything in our home, what it is, where it’s from, how much it cost and when we bought it, should we need to make an insurance claim on our burned-down home. It’s not done yet (boy do we own a lot of stuff!), but it has served as an interesting barometer of our lives. You see patterns that mark the changes in your life, like the plethora of kitchen appliances from our wedding registry and the furniture from 2005 when we purchased our second house. In making these lists you are struck by both the futility of the “things” that accumulate in our lives, and the special place they hold in our hearts.
We all know we should have these plans and preparations in place anyway, especially living in earthquake country, but sometimes you need a little nudge to make you do it. In this case, the emergency has made me grateful for what I have, and what I don’t need.
How are you prepared for an emergency?
June 7, 2008
This past birthday I officially moved from my “mid-twenties” to the oh-so-near-thirty “late-twenties.” The passing from one threshold to another moved me to notice how I, and my almost-thirty-years-old peers, differ from the other twenty-somethings. I found some of the changes interesting or funny and began keeping a mental list. Naturally, this is from a woman’s perspective, so I would love to hear what the almost-thirty man notices too. If you have some additions please comment below and share them! I can’t wait to hear how you know you’re almost 30.
How you know you’re almost 30:
-The majority of your friends are married or have sent out their ’save the date’ postcards.
-You look around at your male friends and realize most have gray hair speckling their heads or beards and baldness is no longer just a possibility, but part of their “look.”
-”Are you going to have kids?” “When are you starting a family?” or some other version of “When are you popping one out?” is a weekly, if not daily question you manage.
-You’d much rather watch Grey’s Anatomy on your DVR than go out on Saturday night (you mean get dressed up AND stay up late?!).
-You start to think that silver jewelry looks cheap and choose gold because it looks more sophisticated.
-Body fat starts to stick in very strange new places.
-You walk inside American Eagle Outfitters/Urban Outfitters/Abercrombie+Fitch/Forever 21 and realize you probably shouldn’t be shopping there any more.
-You over hear the most recent hires at work talking and realize that you are now one of the “old guys” with the “outdated ideas.”
-Know that Hershey’s Chocolate or any other kind of milk chocolate is for kids, instead craving the deepest darkest solid chocolate you can find.
-You look at the covers of the magazines at the checkout stand and honestly have no idea who some of the stars on the covers are.
-You don’t feel a day older than 16—just a little bit smarter with more money.
January 1, 2008
As we walk into 2008, it’s that time of year when we plan to eat less, exercise more, and make all sorts of promises that are forgotten by January 3. I actually like resolutions and take them seriously, but with more than enough on my plate of life, I thought that they could use a new twist this year. So instead, here’s my list of what I won’t be doing in 2008. Tell me what you think.
1. I will not sign up for any more committees. I’m on enough for the Film Festival, so perhaps I can inspire others to be on more.
2. I will not get another pet. I love mine dearly and they fill my heart and home to the brim.
3. I will not do more than one house project at a time. No ripped up floors and paint-taped walls simultaneously.
4. I will not sign up for any more magazine subscriptions. How can my life be “Real Simple” when they’re coming out my ears?
5. I will not berate myself for not having time to read or write.
6. I will not forget my friends.
7. I will not obsess about the dirt/dust in my house so I am free to use my mind for dreaming!
8. I will not say “Yes” to good things, so that I can say “Yes” to great things.
What goes on your list?
December 30, 2007
In the spirit of appreciating the year that was 2007, here’s what moments I’ll remember.
My Best Friend’s Wedding
Spending a week with my friend since Junior High, Rianna, was a treat. We shopped, we talked, we got hangovers, we had a great time. Oh, and she also got married. I was touched to be her Matron of Honor.
Wandering the West
Breaking in our new-to-us truck and 4 Wheel Popup camper on a two week trek around the West is an adventure we won’t soon forget. The desolate North Rim of the Grand Canyon, ancient cliff dwellings in Mesa Verde and (our favorite) hiking in Zion National Park. In fact, we were so enchanted with Zion, that we’re making plans to go back in 2008.
The 2007 Santa Cruz Film Festival
It took a lot of time and work, but the 2007 Film Festival had sold out audiences and Messrs. David Arquette and Pee Wee Herman in attendance. As a member of the Board of Directors, I couldn’t have asked for more. Be sure to put this on your calendar for next year, May 9-17, 2008.
Home Renovations
Hubby and I have a never ending to-do list when it comes to our house. This year we replaced our living room floor and completed renovating the downstairs bedroom into our new home office (post coming soon). We’re thrilled with the results. Next on the list, upstairs floor? Grout in the upstairs bathroom? New stair railings? Stay tuned.
Biking
The biking, ah the biking. My friend. My fun. Aside from my daily commute and new blog I had a couple of memorable rides in 2007: riding in the dark (no lights) at 10 pm in Death Valley, riding up the HWY 1 Coast by myself, and riding up to Waddell Creek for Nikkie’s birthday. Here’s to even more biking in ‘08!
It’s fun to stop and appreciate the good times we enjoy, instead of getting stuck on the bad or the sad. What was most memorable for you in 2007?
